My Dark Souls 2 adventure began last night.
Minute 1: Run directly off cliff behind the starting spawn point and die. Unlock achievement “This is Dark Souls”, nod in satisfied agreement.
Minute 3: Discover what I believe to be a gorillapotamus. Piss it off, then die.
Minute 6: After restarting, successfully avoid the gorillapotamus and snatch its treasure.
Hour 1: Character creation.
Hour 1, minute 1: Go to bed.
Now I think it’s time to recklessly throw myself at the gorillapotamus and see if I can make it dead.